just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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