He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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