Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
