so that wasnt chicken after all
Did you just see the Batmobile???
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
