please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
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If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".