Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people