This is not my ceiling
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.