oh god the rape fog is back!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.