and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.