That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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