maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize