Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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