There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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