thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
