So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize