And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize