Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize