So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
