found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
