I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
