miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
