I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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