glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
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You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
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our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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