Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
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