he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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