you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
