I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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