Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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