Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
