but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
