Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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