She's JV to your varsity
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
