I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
