OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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