Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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