Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
