I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
