i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
