Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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