...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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