At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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