If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."