just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
