I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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