his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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