i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
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Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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