How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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