I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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