I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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