woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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