Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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