Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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