so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
