Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
