When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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