Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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