One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
