Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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