This house was built for laser tag.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
