So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
