Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
