It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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