she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
