Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
