I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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