what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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