He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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